How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
