YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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