Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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