Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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