new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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