So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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