Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
