anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
