We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
A bitchslap is in order.
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