Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
