My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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