That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
