Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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