He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
