I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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