just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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