So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
that may or may not have been my penis.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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