She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
