Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I checked into jail on foursquare
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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