We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize