she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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