Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
