It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
