if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I accidentally burped into my bong.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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