I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
