i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
