Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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