is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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