Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
