Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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