In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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