Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
