remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
