Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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