On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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