some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
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I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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