Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
