Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm just crazy horny about you
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
