I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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