dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
