people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
