Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
