Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He better not be in your backpack
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
