it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
