I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
