I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
only if we run a train.
done.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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