I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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