his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
