he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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