I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
