and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
