FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
