when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
