If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Do vagina's smell?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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