got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
