dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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