Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
