Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The air was thick with penises
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
