how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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