the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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