They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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