She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
