Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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