so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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