The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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