ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
