We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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