I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
