make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
