what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
