Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
